Parenting and what we understand of it
The parents of my age, belonging to the relatively newly minted term ‘baby boomers’ category, are seen, very often, complaining of “We have had the worst of it! We listened to our parents and we are now listening to our children!” Interesting word to note here is ‘complaining.’ The Indian society celebrates the birth of a child in a big way. So why does parenting bring out pangs of anxiety and complaints?
We all agree that parenting has taken on a new meaning in the present day; however, a word of caution before we explore the new paradigm in parenting. Parenting at its core is unchangeable; its unshakeable essence is in the bonds of love between the parent and the child. The parent is always guided by the love for the child and the overriding emotion is of care. The method of parenting is under massive scrutiny now. Maybe, all those who ‘suffered’ the ‘insensitivities’ of the adults in their childhood are hell bent on righting the wrongs done to them.
This amuses me. Let us reflect on this a little: the people comprising of the new generation of parents are different from the people who their parents were. The exposure is different; the view of the world is different; the way of thinking is different; the treatment of issues is different; the vision of the future is different; the whole ecosystem is different! So, how can we correct the wrongs? The context itself has changed completely! In my opinion, what we have to do is not to correct the wrongs but learn to adapt to the present and prepare for the future.
“ The shift we are seeking is in strategies which will take us away from traditional methods where controlling an individual and following instructions were the norm. “
Author Reflection
Now we need to believe in building relationships; understanding our children and their emotions; encouraging open communication; building their trust in us; leading the way towards developing empathy and teaching the core values and developing positivity.
For all of the above, the parents will need to practice being present in the moment and use the immense power of **positive motivation** to celebrate small wins with your children.
Discipline and Balance
And, between the old and the new, one thing that cannot be sacrificed is **discipline**. Some questions parents need to ask themselves:
- Are parents becoming friends to their children and forgetting to be parents?
- Are they tilting the balance by providing too much of everything to their children?
- Are they lacking in teaching the value of hard work and discipline?
- Will they be blamed for creating a ‘privileged’ generation?
We will continue this reflection… it is crucial we have parents who are not made to feel guilty in spite of doing the best they can.
And that we have emotionally balanced children who grow up to become great human beings!
